Juan Unzueta
@juancho181 after I almost left our interview without taking his photo.
-Theatre-
It was so hot. It was so hot that my phone shut off in the middle of our interview resulting in us hopping from benches to eventually the inside of my car to finish our talk. He was the epitome of patient which would surprise no one that knows him. He was very candid during our interview about his work here in Atlanta and for that I’m grateful.
Interviewed 5.30.20
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Casey: First and foremost, how are you?
Juan: I am super fortunate, I think, because there are most certainly folks in our industry who don't have it nearly as okay as I have it right now, you know. And I'm super aware of that.
Casey: Everybody's journey is different. You can be struggling.
Juan: Yeah. It's just, you know, I hate to see people struggling, period. And knowing the people I love and people who I know that we sort of support each other in our different work and stuff, to know that they're struggling. And so I hate to make myself cynical. "I'm doing better than you," you know what I mean? But, you know, from a health standpoint, I'm doing great. From a sort of mental health standpoint, also doing fine. . .
So my mom is a widow. I know some people were able to go home for a little bit, you know, to their families home and, you know, spend the first part of this a month, six weeks, whatever. I wish I could have done that, you know., but she's older. And, you know, I was working both at Aurora and at the Alliance when this happened. So I was around children and other people coming to shows and things, so I didn't know if I was asymptomatic or what. So I'm super grateful that she's got an iPad. And this pandemic, it's been sort of her first foray into anything beyond a flip phone. . . I haven't seen her since Christmas, and I would try to go home like every three or four months. And I don't feel like there's really anything near in the future that I might be traveling down there. So it's great to be able to see her face. So that's mental health. Financially, yeah, things are tough.
Casey: What in your daily life do you miss that you haven't been able to do?
Juan: I mean, if we're putting aside the obvious, performing, that sort of connection, that thing we get out of rehearsal or out of working together like that. But I would say just spending time with friends in person, going places together in person. Like I'm not a huge go out to bars and clubs kind of person. The rare occasion that it happened, I'm always like, "That was fun. Not doing that for a few months, but that was fun." You know? So I feel like my few months are coming up like it's time to do it again. But even just going out to eat, going to a movie, all getting together to go see someone's show. Sure, we all know that we miss being on the stage or in an audience, but also that feeling of all getting in the car together, driving there, talking about who's in it, who we're friends with, or whatever those connections are. I miss that a lot.
Casey: How are you finding the motivation to not only create what you have to create for work, but to create whatever you're creating on the other side of that?
Juan: Honestly, I haven't done a ton of non-work creating. So two things, I feel like my motivation in busting my ass when it comes to what I have to do for work is mostly selfish in that I feel like what I'm doing and the quickness with which I complete tasks is A: hopefully making me a little indispensable because I'm not trying to lose my job and have to live off my savings.
Casey: Preach.
Juan: Two: whatever we create for work right now is hopefully ensuring the longevity of the organization, which in turn, selfishly, hopefully ensures that I continue to have a job. You know, I came here to be an arts administrator, but also to be an actor, to continue to act, you know, and balancing that is tough, certainly tough . . . So it's sort of a byproduct of busting my ass to create stuff for work is I've gotten better at—not even better, I've learned how to do more video editing and things, which has helped just little singing projects that I've tried to work on and stuff. I'm working on right now with friends, some friends that I was on a show with in Jacksonville, we're working on one of those things that we'll sing a song together socially distanced. Like the editing of those kinds and that kind of thing—And again, one of my degrees is in graphic design so that sitting there and meticulously doing something until you get it right and then being on the other end of it going, "I fucking did that." Even if to the naked eye, no one else knows how much work went in, you know how it is.
Casey: Oh, I know exactly how it is.
Juan: But it's so satisfying, right? So to me, that's how a lot of this video editing stuff is, too. It takes so much work, like lining up, you know, external audio with what's, you know? But then at the end you're like, "Fuck, this sounds so great," or like, "This final product is so..." That has been super satisfying, is learning sort of like an added skill to sort of the tech skills that I already had. That's been a great thing for me. Just again, giving one that sense of satisfaction. You know, and feeling good about what you're doing, that you're not just getting up to complete mindless tasks that don't have any payoff in the end.
Casey: So what do you think you will take out of this? You said that you were like, "Me being left along with myself is not a good thing."
Juan: Me being left alone, I just mean not in terms of self discovery or creating. I just mean I will fixate on the negative. And I can only imagine what Juan in like the pandemics of, I don't know, whenever the Spanish flu was. Like what that Juan would have done because without connection, without Internet, without Netflix, without something to—That Juan would've had a rough time. But yeah, I mean, my take away I think is just not taking for granted things like the times that we get to be together and spend that time. And also, you know, I think it's been a wake up call. I've only worked in nonprofits since after college, you know?
I started working part time at a theatre in Florida and, you know, ultimately stayed around and became indispensable enough to where I was director of education for many years. But again, that has been my only source of income, has been working for non-profits and acting. And as we all know, working for nonprofits, it's not like there's money falling out of my pockets. So, you know, you get to be at a place in your 30s and you're like, "God, I have worked so hard for so long." And like when that threat and that possibility of not having money coming in, and then you have to really look at your finances and go, "Really like, that's all? After everything, the blood, sweat and tears that I know I put into this hard work?" So that's been a take away that's definitely one that's going to have to sit for a while and go, you know, not what way is there out of it because I don't want to get out of this line of work, but what is there that I need to be doing better or smarter? So that if this, when this happens again, I don't feel like I have to be just killing myself for one job and taking on another job. You know?
Casey: Do you feel like you're a part of the worry that everybody is a part of right now? Do you feel like you've kind of missed it because you've been working?
Juan: That's great. That's a great question. Well, I think it's two answers, two fold, I think. Yes and no...I do have a hard time talking about the right now for me because I know so many other people who are in it and in a much tougher spot than me. I recognize very clearly that I am privileged in that sense. You know, I recognize that. So the general things that everyone's dealing with, with masks and social distancing. Yes, all a part of that, but some of the tougher, especially the tougher financial things and what isolation is doing to some people from a mental health standpoint, like, I think I am not part of that, luckily. And I get I'm so fortunate and grateful that my yearning to always be busy is doing that for me. But the continued uncertainty about our industry is a very present and real, I think, fear for all of us. You know? What is it going to be? That's really scary.
