Ibi Owolabi
@yungdirector on her mother’s front step. We did have to remove the single use plastic bottle from that planter before the photo.
-Theatre-
When I started this project, I made a list of people I wanted to personally ask to participate. People who probably didn’t see my initial plea for participants, people who had a good foothold in my theatre community, people who would draw readers in with their wise and coherent thoughts that I can’t put together at the moment myself.
That list is growing but Ibi’s name was definitely toward the top. If you need an innovative young theatre maker in Atlanta, this girl is it. I had to find out what she was experiencing. I wasn’t thrilled I had to drive down to way south Fulton County to do it but she was worth it.
Interviewed: 5.21.20
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Casey: So first and foremost, how are you?
Ibi: I really do think that I'm feeling more a semblance of normalcy now because when it first happened, it kind of was like a series of...
Casey: Hello!
Ibi: Oh hey Kelly. Sorry.
Casey: What's up Kelly.
(Ibi’s sisters came back from a bike ride and said hello)
Casey: So you're feeling some semblance of normalcy?
Ibi: Yeah. When it first dropped, I was actually in Dallas when they started shutting down places. So I was getting calls about the different gigs I had set up because this was a point where I finally had gigs all the way to November; and I was like, "I've never had this happen to me before. Wow. I'm really hitting my stride." And they're like, "You're not actually. The shutdown is going to take that away from you." So I was sitting there. I'm getting these calls of things being canceled. And then I went to the Alliance and they were like, while we're in the middle of rehearsal, walk in and are like, "Hey, we're not doing this anymore." So, it was while we were doing 53% of. So that was a time of like, "Well okay something that you've been fearing as a freelancer has happened. Now, what are you going to do about it?" And so I kind of ignored a lot of the articles that were like, "Well, now you have all this free time so you should complete your life's manifesto." And then I was like, "This is just moving the goalposts again when we're in a global pandemic, which like - nobody has had to create in this situation before." So I just allowed myself to rest and enjoy my family and stuff. And that made me realize how burnt out I was before I was doing the whole thing. And so now I feel like I've regenerated as a person. I feel more creative now and that sort of thing. So I'm still really sad about what's happening, but I feel like I'm more normal now.
Casey: Sure. Oh, my gosh. How awful that you had to lose all those gigs.
Ibi: I know. You know, you kind of hit your stride finally as a freelancer and you're just like, okay. Like, you know, get my name out there. This is great. It's like the one thing I always feared was that one day they were gonna call me and be like, "Hey, you have nothing."
Casey: And it happened.
Ibi: Yeah.
Casey: How do you feel that you've literally gotten that call and you survived?
Ibi: It honestly is one of those things where it's like the thing you feared the most wasn't that big at the end of the day, because I still have my health, I don't have any family members, you know, who have . . . I do have immunocompromised members, but they all were sequestered away really quickly when this virus started spreading because a lot of them are in New York. So it just really kind of put in perspective, what was I making the most important thing? And then it happened. I was like, "Oh, okay."
Casey: How is your family?
Ibi: They're doing good. So I have a cousin who's a cardiologist in New York and we've been the most worried about her because it's just like shift after shift. But in general, yeah, they've all been really good. I think a lot of us are getting back to being close because we're all just so busy, it was like we were just never seeing each other and stuff. So that's something that's been kind of a positive of being home.
Casey: Oh, yeah. Because you're quarantining with your family.
Ibi: With my family and we're just kind of rediscovering, you know, how nice it is to just like sit and eat at [the table]. There was one point when I was the busiest where I didn't have a dinner with my family for like three months. It was like - oh, that's fine. You know, we we were just busy. And it's kind of not. There should be some sort of touchstone I think with your family. So...
Casey: Yeah. What have you been doing in quarantine?
Ibi: Sleeping. I slept a lot. I did catch up on some things. I did read some plays and that sort of stuff. But I did do a lot of stuff that I just don't usually get the time to do. I created a lot. I've been doing a lot of DIY projects and that sort of thing cause they just are so fun to me. So it was a lot of that. It was a lot of just like treating this almost like a summer vacation type thing, because I don't pay rent, so I didn't have urgency. And checking in on friends has been a big part of it for me, too. Especially with Zoom, like for my friend's birthday we connected with people we haven't talked to in L.A. and New York and stuff. And it's just like, we kind of needed a pandemic to slow down enough for us all to have time to talk to each other. So that's been really nice, has been reconnecting with people. So...
Casey: Yeah, I love that. So you talked about how you're creating DIY. In terms of other creating—like I know you're in the theatre scene, you're directing—have you felt inspired or motivated to create while you've been in quarantine? Has there been anything that you've worked on?
Ibi: Oh, yeah. I started writing again because I haven't done that in a bit. The theatre thing that I'm involved with now, we actually started working on last year, getting me into the directing position at True Colors. But other than that, it's been kind of radio silence from theatre people which is something that I've tried to like . . . at first, I think you try and make it about yourself. But I've been very good about having that mantra of like, "It's a global pandemic, it's a global pandemic. It's not about you." So that's been a big thing is that I think creating wise I've done a lot of textile things, but in terms of theatre, it's kind of taken a back seat. I'm just trying to rejuvenate myself. So...
Casey: Are you finding it easy to create in quarantine, like are you... no?
Ibi: No, the first couple weeks it was completely blank. I was kind of reeling and you know, going through the different cycles of that sort of thing. So now, you know, I'm watching Netflix all the time and getting ideas from that. But at first it was really hard. I think right now, where I feel a little bit of normal, I'm starting to feel creative again. That's why I did a photo shoot for my friend’s brand and stuff like that. But for a while I was just like, I'm just trying to survive this. I'm in free fall. I don't know what's happening. So yeah, it actually was a giant chunk of time, I was not creative.
Casey: What do you think turned that around? Like, what do you think made you want to be creative again?
Ibi: I think having perspective did that for me, I think I don't think I was being dramatic, but I think I was just like so caught up in the anxiety portion of things, that it ground me to a complete halt. And I think really when I grappled with how I was not in a good place when I was with all these gigs and thinking I was in this perfect place, I was so burnt out and not not being my full creative self, that's when I really was able to accept and move on, I think. And that's when I've started feeling like, "What if I did this and what if I did this?" So now I feel almost like I did back when I was doing my internship and stuff. I'm starting to feel more regenerative in that way. But I really had to acknowledge how I was taking care of myself for me to get creative again.
Casey: Yeah. What do you miss about before? Obviously, I think we all miss, as theatre artists, we miss theatre and we miss community. But is there anything that may seem trivial that you miss or any sort of like a little thing that you're like, "Oh my God, if I can only just go get Starbucks!" Is there anything that you feel like once you're able to do it again, you'll be like, "OK, we're back"?
Ibi: So my close friends from college, we do this thing where we'll meet up, we'll go do something like laser tag or something, and we'll be in the parking lot afterward for one to three hours just in the car talking, and I miss that so much because it's like the absolute antithesis of social distancing. We are literally a foot apart in the car talking for hours. We're reminiscing - that's what I miss the most.
Casey: You're so right. That is a very, very big part of I feel like a lot of creative lives—the after. Yeah.
Ibi: The after party where we are just all sitting in the car listening to music. You know, we're just parked in some - whoever's car is biggest and cleanest, we're going to be in that one. That's what I miss the most.
Casey: You're not wrong. So in this quarantine, have you - obviously, it sounds like you've been through a journey already of like "I shut down, I got some perspective, I started back up again." Are there any new creative or just like personal habits, or sacred spaces, or sacred rituals that you've started to do during quarantine that you want to take into, you know, the new world? We talked about how you're eating dinner with your family now, you're like "That's so nice." But is there anything personally you're like, "Man, I discovered this and I like it. I want to take it forward."
Ibi: Yeah. I think my perspective thing has been something that I think was really missing. It felt like a switch flipped with that. I think I was weighing the creative and the push to be successful way more than I was weighing, even my own personal health and that sort of thing. So that's something that I feel is really integral if I even want to have longevity in the business is that I have to weigh up my perspective of what is actually important. Like I said, I think a big fear of mine was like, "Oh, one day they're just gonna be over you. You know, you're not going have anymore freelance jobs." And then, you know, it wasn't that they were over me, but that happened. I had no more jobs and I still have to be a person at the end of the day. So that's something that I think just for my own health, I have to take into our new world.
Casey: I love that. Your answers are so succinct. So those are my planned questions. But like just talking to you, I feel like you're handling this well. I'm not really surprised. I'm just happy. I feel like you're out here. You're in this neighborhood like you said. You feel like you're in a community. Do you feel removed at all from this?
Ibi: Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. That's why the podcast felt like so great to do because it felt like I was getting another in to the whole theatre community. But yeah I feel super removed from the theatre community when I'm not in it. I think that's something that added to a lot of my anxiety cause it's just like if I'm not there, you know, they don't see me, they don't know what's going on. But yeah, that was like a big thing for me. Definitely. I think that was why we finally did the push of like, let me do this podcast and let people know more about me and that sort of thing. But yeah. Before that, I was like, "No one is going to remember who I am when we are out of this thing."
Casey: I mean, even just personally, I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are constantly struggling. I don't know if it's just because I'm closer in to town. I don't know how many other theatre artists you work for live close to you out here.
Ibi: No, not a lot. Everybody's at least 30 minutes from me.
Casey: What do you think would be the first thing that theatres are able to do after all of this? When we start going back, what would you hope and dream is what we're able to start doing again? Because obviously we can't do huge fifty people musicals.
Ibi: No, I think it's gonna be maybe if not readings, something like small invited things. That's actually an issue that we're wondering about right now with Good, Bad People and True Colors. We're like, "How are we gonna do this until there is a vaccine or something?" But I think that might be what it is because I don't think a full performance is really feasible at this point in time. So I think theatres are going to have to get creative. I think the online thing is going to have to be something they need to accept quickly and just let that be the thing for the next year. Because I don't think that us all in one room is going to . . . The way theatre is setup is not meant for a disease like this. So, yeah, I'm really interested to see what they come up with. I think some theatres did right at the beginning Zoom readings and that sort of thing. And then they realized, you can't get the same feel as, you know, being in live theatre. But the day where we can have over 250 people in a room is not here yet. So I'm really interested to see, cause I don't know, I've been trying to rack my brain. How would you even do it? I think they really have to accept readings, they have to accept invited small performances.
Casey: Do you think that'll keep a lot of these theaters that are working with or need really big budgets in order to survive? Do you think that everyone will come out of this, like all the 15 or whatever theatres [in the area]?
Ibi: Yeah. I really don't. I've actually been kind of worried about that. I don't think all of them are coming back or as strong, at least. Because I worry about things like Out Front and like the smaller ones. I'm just like, I don't know how you're going to survive this. So I think that they're all trying to push forward to be like, "Oh, 2021, we'll all . . . " But I don't know. And I know some of them have gotten a supplemental grant from some places and that's keeping them afloat. But currently I think they need to stop thinking about the traditional theatre and really start thinking about - okay, how can we get on top of this some other way and get content out there?
Casey: Yeah, that's brilliant. You're right. We need innovators.
Ibi: Yeah, this is a great time for them to implement some younger people to . . .
Casey: Like, show up. Yeah, preach girl.
Ibi: Yeah, this would be a great time for them to be like, "Oh, we don't understand social media. Let's ask the kids!" Who knows if they'll do that.
Casey: Has anybody approached you?
Ibi: No, other than like you know . . .
Casey: You would be at the top of my list.
Ibi: Thank you! Yeah. I feel like there's people who go to school and have degrees for social media, but that doesn't seem necessary.
Casey: I just mean, like arts leaders like If I needed to find a young arts leader. I'd be like, "Okay, so Ibi is on that list."
Ibi: No, I haven't really talked to anybody. I don't know if I should check in on them or not.
Casey: Screw it.
Ibi: Y'all doing good over there?
Casey: Let them find you at this point. You take your time for yourself. It's crazy.
Ibi: I will say the most terrifying part was being in the Dallas airport not knowing how we were gonna get home. Because they canceled our last show because people stopped coming because Dallas was shutting down. They actually were one of the first to shut down. And so they were like, "Hey, look, we got to go. You guys got to figure it out. We're actually gonna leave at six in the morning and get you all to the airport and switch your tickets." So we're like packing really fast and we are just trying to figure it out. I'm on the phone with my mom, she's like, "Just get home. Just get home." So we're in the airport and everything's like a hush. And there was so many of us. And we're all taking our shoes off really quick, getting in the line and stuff. No one had masks yet. So that was terrifying on another level. So just getting home was - I feel like it was like the peak anxiety for me and really almost an out of body experience of like you have pulled your . . . You are like a guitar string at this point and you're just trying to get home. Is this the most important thing in your life?
Casey: That's terrifying. I can't imagine being in an airport right now.
Ibi: Yeah, and this whole mass exodus. If y'all don't get on the plane now we don't know what we are going to do for you.
Casey: We don't know where you are going to live! It might be over six months. Does January 2021 feel like so far away to you?
Ibi: It does.
Casey: You know, we bring up that date for Broadway and now obviously Atlanta theatres are talking about it like that. It just feels so far away.
Ibi: January 2020 feels so far away. People are like, "Hey, you know, Kobe died this year." I'm like, "No. That was five years ago. There's no way."
Casey: It's. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, that's right.
Ibi: That lull. Like that whole life. Oh, man. That I think that was why -
Casey: He missed it. He missed Covid.
Ibi: Yeah. But they said, "Oh, wow. The world is ending. Kobe died," and [the world] said, "You want to see something. Here's Covid."
Casey: The world said, "Hold my beer."
Ibi: Here's some murder hornets.
Casey: Oh, I can't with the murder hornets. Ok. So in kind of closing, even though I could sit here and talk to you.
Ibi: It's good to talk to someone who is not my family.
Casey: I got you. Yeah. Like a person who kind of understands where you're at because I feel you. I had a calendar booked all the way through next spring.
Ibi: And it sucks that we kind of link our worth to how many jobs we have.
Casey: Oh yeah. How many theatres I work for is literally a list that I update that is my desktop on my computer. We had just started booking. Theatres were starting to announce their next seasons and so before they announced that they get with me and they check that their dates work for photos.
Ibi: Oh yeah. Yeah.
Casey: It's not like it changes if it doesn't, but it just means we have to be creative. It just seems so far away.
Ibi: It does. Yeah.
Casey: It seems so far away and I just don't know if it's sustainable.
Ibi: No, not on the current path. Because like now, just thinking of an effective vaccine takes 18 months.
Casey: Yeah.
Ibi: I also don't think America's gonna be the first to have the vaccine.
Casey: No, of course not. We don't deserve it.
Ibi: No. I think he probably figured it out already, they just don't want to say anything.
Casey: I'd rather just wear a mask for another three years. And so, like I said, in kind of summation, what would you say you're gonna take away from this experience? What do you feel like? Almost like the summed up version, like what you'll tell your kids. You know what I mean? How do you think you'll be like, "Yeah, that was crazy, but I learned this. Or I did this. Real quick."
Ibi: I think. . . where do you put yourself on the scale between you and your career? Where are you putting your actual self? It’s something that I learned and that's something I would tell my kids. You are putting all this weight and this insurmountable consequences on this thing. Is it really where you're placing it in your life? Or is it actually, you know, just a summation of your own anxieties and that sort of thing? Because when I was back against the wall, my biggest fear was waved in my face, I still survived that. So that's something that I think - not like, "No fear." But I think it's really prioritizing, you know, because you love a thing. Does that mean that it's something that could crush you? Or is it something that, you know, if everything changed, you would still be able to survive?
Casey: That makes perfect. Well, the idea that you're not working yourself to death.
Ibi: Yeah.
Casey: To do something that you're like, "But I love this!" But are you happy?
Ibi: Right. And I talk about if you want to be unhappy, you could be in corporate somewhere. Why would you choose art? Why would you struggle and be unhappy?
Casey: And continue to be unhappy. What does that mean for when you go back, that you are putting yourself as more of a priority over projects?
Ibi: Yes, I would say I'm prioritizing myself, which it's so hard to say that and not like want to shake that off, but it's necessary. I am my business. And how can I do it if I'm not prioritizing myself? So, yeah, that's something that I think I started advocating for myself. I used like a year of advocacy when I was at The Alliance and that was really helpful in standing up for myself. But now I need to advocate further, you know, and push against my workaholic nature and make myself a priority.
